December 9, 1932 Puerto Rico
Days creep out and out into a long stream of never-ending thought and hope. Long gray days at contrast from one another only through mood. Long days beset by minor plots and lost action. Milling, loose days.
Something has happened way down inside me. Something has gone only to be replaced with something infinitely more precious. The whole world has changed. The sunsets have a different color, faces wear a different expression, thoughts follow different channels.
God knows I know little enough about life. Never have I realized the things to be learned under this uneven fabric of mixed byplays. There’s more to life than living. Just as there’s more to thought than thinking. Life is a tapestry fashioned out of dreams. And though the pattern is without pattern, and the design without plot, there is a beauty through it all which one comes to understand only through the realization of inability to understand.
Thousands on life’s road behind us have cast puzzled eyes to calm stars, and raising their dust-dried mouths out of the swirl around them, have cried out in weary, wondering tones, “What is life?” Each man sees a difference. No one can solve to universal satisfaction this most wondrous of puzzles.
There are the fools of us who try. Who try only to have their voice thrown back at them through the years and realize that that which is settled for today has changed for the morrow. And there are those of us who escape by refusing to utter the cry. Who enclose ourselves in a self-centered, unsympathetic shell. But they too have their hopes and dreams altered, their wants destroyed, their desires supplanted. Nothing is ever settled forever, for who are we but puny men facing an unknown a million times greater and countless billions of years older than ourselves.
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